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THE HEART OF WINNIE THE POOH IN THE BODY OF JESUS He spoke briskly to the blonde : "Run along and clean your teeth – chop chop! It's bedtime!" From his modest overnight bag he produced a perfect martini, an evening suit, a semi-automatic and a tall blonde wearing Jean Yu lingerie. THE HEART OF MARY POPPINS IN THE BODY OF JAMES BONDīond stepped into the hotel room. THE HEART OF MARY POPPINS IN THE BODY OF HUMBERT HUMBERT

Several attempts to film the book have been shut down in police raids. Her career as a governess was extremely short. THE HEART OF HUMBERT HUMBERT IN THE BODY OF MARY POPPINS Victims would wake to find a warm steak and kidney pie in their larder, and no sign of forced entry. In 1897 London was plagued by an unexplained wave of nocturnal cooking and tidying up. THE HEART OF DRACULA IN THE BODY OF MRS BEETON

Jonathan Harker had to admit that the castle was extremely cold and draughty and the plumbing was non-existent but rarely had he tasted such exquisite black puddings. THE HEART OF MRS BEETON IN THE BODY OF DRACULA So - I would like to present some preliminary notes on my observations. You - even YOU, can't pretend you don't want to find out what happens if you transplant the heart of Winnie the Pooh into the body of James Bond! But most survived and flourished in new and unexpected ways. Some characters died, it is true, during the procedures. Yes! Ha haah! Using improvised equipment and in the teeth of professional indifference – more, open hostility – I have managed to perform a series of heart transplants between some of the world's favourite literary characters. But I have proved it can be done, and I have done it. But I believe I have broken through into a new reality! I have been working on a series of experiments here in my secluded laboratory, at great personal expense (marriage, children, both eyebrows). I know I will be misunderstood, that my work will be seen as grotesque and loathsome. Yes! Ha haah! Using improvised equipment and in the teeth of professional indifference – more, open hostility – I have manage THE HOSPITAL OF LITERARY TRANSPLANTS THE HOSPITAL OF LITERARY TRANSPLANTS I know I will be misunderstood, that my work will be seen as grotesque and loathsome.